Day Eight

Not much happened today. Literally almost nothing of note. I suppose on my worst days I would look at a day like today and thank God for his bountiful blessings. It was a beautiful day, though. I am currently studying Hebrews and found a verse that compliments this experiment well.

Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that there is a God and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.

Hebrews 11:6

He rewards those who sincerely seek him. He wants to give us more of his Holy Spirit and seeking him with a heart of sincerity is key.

Day Seven

Have you ever felt like you were riding the bench? Your team is doing great. They are winning, and it is astonishing how well they are playing, but you are definitely a spectator. I feel a little like that right now. In answer to my prayers, God has opened my eyes a little bit to what he is doing in those around me. He may even be working more visibly in others, but the result is the same. I am seeing God at work in peoples lives.

Before you start to think that this is discouraging, let me tell you; it isn't. In fact, it is the opposite. It is completely exciting. The Holy Spirit works in our lives! He is at work changing us, challenging us, stretching us, blessing us and loving us. He is doing the miraculous and it is not always happening in a grand, miraculous, outward way, but within us. Like a pill we take to cure a disease, he is silently working within us in ways that may not seem dramatic, but are no less real or powerful.

Patient endurance is what you need now, so you will continue to do God's will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.

Hebrews 10:36

I will wait patiently on the Holy Spirit to do whatever he wishes, in any way he chooses. I am eager to receive all that God has promised.

Day Six

I'm fighting a cold today, so I feel a little miserable. Sundays are long days for me - great days, but long ones. I'm at church at 7:15 am and our small group ends at 8:00 pm. Everything in between is all good, but when you're sick it can feel like a blur.

I got to see a friend today who has been struggling a lot lately. She has been in and out of the hospital with a mysterious ailment all while wrestling with confusing relationships and a crisis of faith. The last time I saw her was several weeks ago in the hospital where I got to talk with her and pray with her. Today she ran up to me at church and hugged me. I asked her how she has been and she said she is doing so much better. She was glowing. God has really gotten ahold of her heart and has helped her to make some tough choices.

I have not really seen the Holy Spirit doing a lot of visible things in me through all this, but I have begun to recognize his work in others more and more. I asked God for more of his Holy Spirit, whatever that looks like, and it appears his answer is to show me the wonderful things he is doing in other people. He is showing me his love and grace as it is lavished on others.

Day Five

Saturday. Busy day. Not much to report. Interestingly, it feels like the thing that has changed the most since I have started praying for more of the Holy Spirit is my own sense of expectation. I believe God's promise and am looking for how it is going to be expressed. I find that I am realigning myself more to the Holy Spirit and what he is doing instead of simply waiting for him to do things...grand Holy Spirit things. Perhaps God is going to use this process more to change me than to wow me with his power.

Day Four

It's pretty remarkable how God can take a situation that I think is dire and completely out of control and tame it. Yesterday I was fully stressed about an impossible circumstance that my friends were facing, and today God made it...well, kind of boring. Instead of it being an insurmountable mountain, it has become an inconvenient hill that must be climbed.

I love how God works, because he didn't just fix the problem - and he could have. The problem is not gone, but it is diminished. My friends will still have to face it, but they have been reassured that they are not fighting on their own. God perfectly blends his sovereign power with our striving and uses it not only to overcome a our obstacles, but to grow our faith. Amazing.

Seeing the Holy Spirit work in the lives of my friends is a wonderful thing, and a great way to start this month off. Still praying for more.

Day Three

This morning the other shoe dropped. It's not that I expected an experiment like this to be completely free of difficulty, but this morning a situation dropped on me that is so big and wrong that I am powerless to do anything to change it. My hope was a gradual increase in the activity of the Holy Spirit in my daily life that would culminate in a remarkable change in me. Instead I have smacked into a brick wall.

It is actually not my brick wall, but my friends, which in a weird way makes me feel even more powerless. My heart is breaking for them and for what they are facing right now. My pulse is racing and my stomach is sick at the thought. There is nothing I can do. It is too huge. I just prayed and begged God to move on their behalf, pleaded for his help. He is the only hope at this point.

Maybe this should come as no surprise. Romans 8:17 says, "And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering." Tough times are a guarantee when you follow God. In fact, all of the tough times in my life have served to shape me and change me more into who I know God wants me to be. It doesn't change the fact that it stinks, but there is a method to God's hand in our suffering.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. The righteous person faces many troubles, but the Lord comes to the rescue each time.

Psalm 34:18-19

May the Lord give me so much more of his Holy Spirit because he is the only one with the power to overcome the tidal wave of circumstances that is threatening to crash down today.

Day Two

I just finished asking God for more of his Holy Spirit today. It was a strange thing to pray without trying to clarify things for God. Most of the time I break my requests to God down into very specific detail. If I am sick, I tell God exactly what my symptoms are and the handful of things that he could do to make me feel better. If I need money, I clearly define the many ways that God in his infinite power could bless me. Have you ever spent time praying only to feel guilty when you are done for not praying long enough? It's as if we think that God will better honor our prayers if we make them longer, and we pad our prayers by stretching out a simple request into a detailed outline. I know I'm guilty of this. I know I've been guilty of this when asking for the Holy Spirit too.

In seeking more of the Holy Spirit, it is inevitable that I must confront my history with him, including both my experiences and my preconceptions. I was raised in a pentecostal Assemblies of God church. My parents were both seriously involved in the ministries of the church. My mom served as the choir director for many years, and my dad led all of the drama ministries and served as a deacon/board member. The result for me was that I was at church every time the doors were open. Every time...no exaggeration. On an average Sunday, from morning and evening services to choir practice, we spent around eight hours at the church.

Our church was decidedly pentecostal in the best Assemblies of God tradition. Don't take that to mean it was a crazy church. It wasn't. It was full of genuine, faithful people who truly loved the Lord. We believed that speaking in tongues was the initial physical evidence of being filled with or baptized in the Holy Spirit. If you didn't speak in tongues, you had not been filled. Cut and dry. As I grew in my faith, I grew in my devotion to this truth and began to seek this experience with the Holy Spirit. It was big deal to speak in tongues and emphasized accordingly.

At youth camp, there was always one night specifically devoted to being filled with the Holy Spirit that included an extended, open altar time to seek the baptism. Along with dozens, even hundreds of other students my age, I strived and struggled in prayer to receive the baptism in the Holy Spirit. I kneeled and wept and begged for this experience with God that could only be proven by speaking in tongues. I remember being told to just begin speaking out loud, making any kind of noise so that God could take over. There was a hope that ran deep in all of us that this would be our moment to speak in tongues. We all wanted it so badly.

When I prayed for this empowering of the Holy Spirit, I was very specific with God about how I wanted it to be expressed. I wanted to speak in tongues. In fact, I felt that if I didn't, I was not genuinely experiencing the Holy Spirit. As a result I narrowed my expectation of what the Holy Spirit could do by padding my prayer with specific and detailed requests.

But not this time. I am asking for God to give me more of his Holy Spirit and nothing else. Whatever that looks like, whatever it entails is entirely up to him...not me.